rubber band to the eyeball
a confession.
When I was in kindergarten, my brother taught me how to shoot a rubber band.
“Lock it up between your index finger and wrap around your thumb.
Point at your prey. Shoot.”
I was amazed.
I practiced every day.
Toys, cans, you name it.
And then I took my rubber band to school.
A substitute teacher arrived that day.
He was kind enough to roll in a cart with a TV to entertain us for the day.
The lights were off, we sat on the floor and stared into the glowing box.
And I thanked him by shooting a rubber band to his eyeball.
Was it satisfying? Yes.
Was it cruel? Definitely.
Did I get caught? Absolutely
He grabbed at his face in wincing pain, turned to me and ordered me to the corner of the room where I would remain the rest of the afternoon.
I stood in the corner, quietly crying while my classmates watched Baby Beluga.
Being an outlaw is not for the faint of heart.
I dreaded being found out by my mother as she came to pick me up from school that day.
To my surprise, my aunt came instead.
She asked why I was standing in a corner.
The substitute was busy talking to another set of parents.
I lied and hurried her out the door before he could get her attention.
It was the perfect crime.
We drove off into the distance.
I smiled.
And shot her in the eye with a rubber band.
Stay Silly
David
P.S. You know what stings worse than a rubber band? Wasting time and money to market yourself only to get nightmare clients.
I’ve got a workshop this Wednesday called Attract Dream Clients where I help you prevent that once and for all.